Dear Mr./Mrs. Squirrel,
I saw you on my roof this morning. We made eye contact, and when I pointed at you and cursed you, you growled at me and ran back into our roof. The thing is, your scratching, burrowing and hissing/growling above my room is causing me to lose sleep. Can we create a schedule so that we can share my house: you can have the day time and I will have the night time? I hear night time is the best time to gather nuts. The point is, its because of you I couldn't sleep and I ended up watching 6 episodes of Lost last night. Now I am on episode 7 with a lack of sleep, and the sounds of your claws and hiss occupy my head instead of a song. We need to figure out something ASAP.
Your bitter roommate,